Master Of The Rink T-Shirts

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

'I know I'm still in the Juniors, but I already need a therapist.'

"The good news is...you've one less window to wash."

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Kids playing ice hockey for a medal.

Zenboni

"Your job will be to make these results look Stellar."

"It's like the other ones! I saw a shark! I saw a shark!"

"Hells Angels, Zamboni Division"

'Geez, Dad! You never scream your lungs out at the refs! Don't you love me?!'

'Okay, but for future reference; We never grit the ice in here.'

"You're home from work now Dear, you can go back on your default setting."

His Other Shtick

Dangerous weapons.

'I had to wear these arms so I could get some more tattoos...'

"Oh that, that's our dealing room."

'What are you grinning at? It's only 5.30.'

"The ice at the rink isn't smooth. I think the maintenance team slipped up."

Winter String Quartet

'I think he's getting ready to hammer that plug.'

"Well this has been a waste of time. I haven't had a single bite all day."

"Just so you know, despite the horrifying beating you're about to get, I'm actually a good hockey player."

'The ice is quite thin this evening.'

The vampire...at the game

Ice hockey player with testicles on his stick.

'Try to stay away from the referee's left jab!'

Pen

"Be careful of this guy, he's all hands."

Slippery Hockey Game