Master Of Cancellations Pillows

"You know why we get along so well with the Burfords... they blow-off as many invitations as we do."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

Man's cooking explodes.

"My boss says I intimidate people. . . so I stared at him until he apologized."

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

"Some days, no matter how much you procrastinate, work still gets done."

'Doctor says I've got an enlarged procrastinate.'

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

'Never put off till tomorrow something you can put off till the day after tomorrow...'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

"For the last time - do not call me when I'm pretending to work."

"Congratulations on your entertaining presentation skills Smith, and the way they hide your dismal sales figures!"

Quiet Quitting

The Procrastinatorium.

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

"He'll see you now, but I should warn you � he secretly despises you."

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

DIY expert.

Procrastinator's Leap.

It's been a pleasure taking you to the cleaners.

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

'When someone asks where you work, what do you tell them?'

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

"I always put things off until the last minute."

"Ten-fifteen, Ms. Whitney. Time to switch breasts."

'A few of us are leaving a little bit early if that's ok with you sir.'

Procrastination is not tax deductible.

'Here lies one of THE GREAT contract negotiators...it says so in the fine print.'

"I want to compliment you on your work- tell me when you do some."

"We want to build bridges!"

"Honestly, Doug, you never want to do anything. . . I swear with you, it's always meh, meh, meh!"

"Fred is the counterpoint to a perpetual motion machine."

"I'm leaving early, before mission creep takes over."