Master Of Cancellations Pillows

"You know why we get along so well with the Burfords... they blow-off as many invitations as we do."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

Man's cooking explodes.

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

"My boss says I intimidate people. . . so I stared at him until he apologized."

"Some days, no matter how much you procrastinate, work still gets done."

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

'Doctor says I've got an enlarged procrastinate.'

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

'Never put off till tomorrow something you can put off till the day after tomorrow...'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

"Congratulations on your entertaining presentation skills Smith, and the way they hide your dismal sales figures!"

"For the last time - do not call me when I'm pretending to work."

Quiet Quitting

The Procrastinatorium.

"He'll see you now, but I should warn you � he secretly despises you."

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

DIY expert.

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

Procrastinator's Leap.

It's been a pleasure taking you to the cleaners.

'When someone asks where you work, what do you tell them?'

"I always put things off until the last minute."

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'

'I worked out a deal with management that if I trim two minutes off of every coffee break, they'll let me retire 14 months early,'

"Ten-fifteen, Ms. Whitney. Time to switch breasts."

'A few of us are leaving a little bit early if that's ok with you sir.'

Procrastination is not tax deductible.

'Here lies one of THE GREAT contract negotiators...it says so in the fine print.'

"I want to compliment you on your work- tell me when you do some."

"Fred is the counterpoint to a perpetual motion machine."

"Honestly, Doug, you never want to do anything. . . I swear with you, it's always meh, meh, meh!"

"I'm leaving early, before mission creep takes over."