Master Of Calm Authority Pillows

"I shall not raise my voice, but be aware every word I say is upper case, bold, italics and underlined."

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

'Now try and relax - we're on holiday!'

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Meditation

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Ice Skater

"I figured my stress ball should match the size of my anxiety."

"You never had to learn to relax, did you, Walter?...It just came natural"

A man with a shirt reading 'No Pain No Gain' runs past a man who is relaxing with a 'No Pain No Pain' shirt on.

Enlightened Cursing

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum.'

Relax.

Screensaver says project compiling.

Meditation vs. Vegetation

"Breathe in...now breathe out. Excellent! Just remember to keep doing that for the next few years and you'll be fine."

Stress Centre: easy come...easy go.

Couch potato.

"I don't feel like looking for food today . . . think I'll just chill!"

'Taking the anger management class has made you uncharacteristically nice, sir.'

A man watching t.v. with his skull hinged open to reveal the same man watching the same t.v. . . .

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

Tai Chi vs. Chai Tea

"I can do this all day, marshmallow. I have a bright life ahead of me. You, on the other hand... I'm not so sure."

'It's a common misconception. Sometime we actually get quite hot.'

'FYI, Stevens, nobody likes a middle-aged slacker.'

'Worry kills more people than work.'

'Maybe hard work 'never killed anyone' but why take the risk?'

"You claim on your résumé that one of your skills is staying calm under stressful situations. I believe you."

'When someone asks where you work, what do you tell them?'

Chillaxing!

Ernie's a procrastinator who lives life to the fullest --- He lives each day as if it's his next-to-last!

"It wasn't me jumping up and down and yelling in class. It was the sugar talking."