Keepers Of Calm Pillows

"Mr. Nunworth ... Hysterical crying on line 1 ... Livid on line 2 ... "

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Fight or Flight

Home Sweet Home

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

Man has a seatbelt and 'calm down tablets' to watch the world news.

Uncle Mort, you fought in Korea, right? You think that war will start up again? Not if I can help it. It was the morning of July 27, nineteen hundred and fifty-three. I was pinned down on Pork Chop Hill. My bazooka had run out of ammo. All I could find to load into it was a stuffed panda bear. I loaded it and fired that bear into the maw of the enemy. It struck one of them atop the noggin. Moments later, the armistice was signed. Every July 27th, I awaken at dawn and chuck that same panda at the

"Actually we were hoping you'd be encouraging a more conciliatry approach to conflict management."

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

Muzak's Top 10

Relax.

"Yes I really do need a glass of water. My duvets on fire."

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

Cat holds sign that says 'come over here', dog holds a sign that says 'how?'

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

"It's probably just stress, but let's take a look. Open up and say, ARGGGH!!!"

'I feel wired. I want to feel wireless.'

Sea of Tranquillity

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

Calm in the Face of Chaos

Certificate in Living Room Celebrating Three Days Without Argument

"We just want a vacation --- we don't want to learn anything."

"Is something bothering you?"

"Sit in the car. The doctor will be with you shortly to treat your road rage."

"You claim on your résumé that one of your skills is staying calm under stressful situations. I believe you."

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

'I wish I could be as calm as JB when it comes to making decisions.'

"Thanks to yoga, mom no long jumps to conclusions. She gently stretches."

"We find it calms the patient."

'Before we begin may I emit a prolonged rant about my work week?

"Come and get me, coppers!"

Zerotasking