Masonry Pillows

Boy to mason: 'Aren't you a little old to be playing with blocks?'

'McWit never could build anything level.'

'Mother, it WAS smooth enough already.'

Rodin's Freemason (unfinished)

'Thank heaven's there are no cameras around. This would surely go viral.'

Bricklayer

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

I'm getting too old to pour cement every day! In this job, as time goes by it gets harder and harder.

Where is global warming when you want it?

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

The house that Ruth built.

'My husband is just being modest. Buck is the finest mason in the tri-county area!'

Cement Contractor Dreams

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Tool Box

Rocking horse

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Don't let the woodcutters get too close or they'll make a fuel out of you!

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

Do it yourself books.

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

Lego Haircut

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"