Marriage Comedist Pillows

'...and he hogs the sunny spot!'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"Just a minute, Mister. You're not going out of here looking like that."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

"Do you think someday we'll look back on this and laugh?"

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

'No, but thanks for asking.'

'Doris,do you realize you are destroying a perfectly happy marriage?'

"You might want to save that for your blog."

'It's true that my wife does forgive and forget - the trouble is that she never forgets what she's forgiven...'

'Honestly, Harry. It's getting so I can't tell your scratching from the cat's.'

"Hello darling! - I'm back from the black hole!!"

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

'You're three o'clock cancelled, the Parson deal is ending, and your husband wants to know if the dishes are dirty or clean.'

"Son, the key to a happy marriage is listening, or at least purr and pretend you are."

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

"You call that worrying?"

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

"I decided to spend the money and have my legs waxed."

"Ah-h, her comes my better half now."

"My husband is missing. I haven't seen him since he started wearing camouflage clothes."

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.

'That one was taken on our wedding day, when he was young, handsome and in love. That other one was taken when he was older, more mature and a pain in the neck.'