Marriage Banter Prints

'I must be in my second childhood -- my wife keeps sending me to bed without supper.'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"Remember, they're just as afraid of you as you are of standing up to your mother."

'Great sermon, Reverend! Too bad my husband couldn't stay awake to hear it.'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"Let's take in a trial."

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

'I've been happily married for 15 years... that covers 3 marriages.'

'I do wish you'd use the study when you work from home.'

"That's O.K., I'll go—'m dressed."

'Cheers, it's worth the domestic hassle.'

'My interest in gardening backfired when I married a couch potato.'

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

'This always seems to happen on your night to cook.'

"Sure, you're an elephant, but you're not at all elephantine."

'How was I to know that you don't like Marzipan?'

'I should have listened to my mother. . . when she said you were immature.'

'They're like ice! You're like a giant vampire bat sucking the warmth out of me!'

"I don't like this hot dish."

'This is my new husband Gregory -- I don't quite have all the bugs out of him yet.'

"I said I was sorry. No need to bite my head off!"

'I don't mind him smoking in bed. . .But not herrings.'

'You were on your fishing trip so long I met someone new and raised a family.'

"This better work out."

"Where has the magic gone, George?"

"Do you know how distracting it is when you spin the chamber on that revolver?"

'Oh for crying out loud, so there's a spider in the bathtub!!'

"Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you never see him again."

"Big deal, so you taught him to beg. I taught you how to do that on our wedding night."