Marketing Maestro T-Shirts

"We produce an inferior line of goods. That's why we're looking for a real first class marketing man."

"So it's agreed - we go ahead with the information-matching."

'Then, for some reason, sales dropped right off.'

"We only employ first class salesmen because we produce inferior products?"

"Still no customers. We'll have to invent rebates!"

"Our marketing budget has become a black hole."

'He struggles with having to do his own marketing.'

Woman is target

'I'm going to try to be a pro hockey player. So, if I don't return, you'll know I made it, and you can take charge of the marketing department.'

SupermarketAwful Market.

Bug Control LTD Sales.

'Mr. Watson - I think we have a strong telemarketing opportunity in our hands.'

'hashtag #WhatIsAHashtag?'

'This model even has a sports car on board.'

"Why didn't I think of that?"

Very smart mousetraps & brands

"Look at all that junk mail! I knew I shouldn't have filled out that questionnaire yesterday."

Header: Franchising of Optometry Caption: 'With every new pair of glasses you get a cheap plastic toy of a character from the latest kids movie'

'I don't care if you are endorsing those rollerblades. You can't wear them in the game!'

'I tell you, Angela, there's no sight sadder than a desperate adhesives salesman...'

"Business isn't great. We could only afford the smallest air dancer."

'We want the kids to buy it so we can't play up the fact that it's educational in nature.'

The Copywriter's Dilemma

'Henderson, Sir - marketing.'

'Don't settle for niches when you can have segments.'

Man is attacked by barcodes.

What's going on? I've rented out your forehead as billboard space. You come into contact with customers all day long. It makes perfect sense. Buy Pepsi. Ads by Google. For you! You're not the one who has a sign taped to his head. This isn't making me feel better. We can trade signs. Cialis. Ads by Google.

Research and Development/Marketing

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'