Market Maestro T-Shirts

OK, buy! No, wait... sell! No, change that... sell! No... buy! No... sell! Buy!

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

'That just shows how much everyone depends on China economically.'

"The market was buoyant this morning, it turned lethargic in the afternoon, and it closed in a frivolous mood, singing, tapdancing and baton twirling."

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

"I actually prefer having emotional investors as clients -- they're fun to watch."

'I'm not sure this business partnership is working out...'

Rent - An - Economist: 'Don't panic, Mr Lacy! We have a Keynesian on the way.'

'As a new investor, you'll be interested to know that the value of stocks are determined by the collective wisdom of all buyers and sellers.'

'That was one of my all-time great rumors.'

Buy low sell high.

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

'Whenever the market hits 10,000, they bring on the cheerleaders.'

'This drug treats 'stock market jitters' but a side effect is 'irrational exuberance'.'

Adam's apples.

Economic Crisis.

Stock market full recovery?

"Get used to it, Eddie. Stocks below coat basis is the new normal."

Cheer up, you'll get your day.

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

'I wish you'd show so much passion at home!'

'Finally, I asked myself, how could I marry a man who got out of the stock market to years ago.'

Remember, it's all about Keeping up with Dow Jones

"Markets rose slightly today. No one knows why."

'If stocks are up, bonds are down. If bonds are up, stocks are down. It's life's Yin and Yang.'

Financial adviser with desk organizers: Things that go 'boom' and Things that go 'bust'.

'I've been a broker for almost three days and I've never seen the market act like this.'

"You've suffered a loss and you need time to grieve, also, tomorrow the market may turn around."

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

Profit

The president's men

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'