Marketing Genius In Disguise Prints

"I don't know what it means, but since my mom added that word, sales have gone through the roof."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Target your customer.

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Bob thinks his new neighbor may be bad for business.

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"Sales are up 38% since the name change."

A close shave on the Titanic...

Women's sportswear - Sale on paradigm shifts.

"Maybe we'd do better if we called ourselves 'baristas'."

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

"We can succeed if our target audience is not made up of rational human beings."

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'We now have 28 subscription cards in every issue, but we MUST HAVE MORE!'

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

'I think scroll sounds better than 'continuous media,''

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'

"I think you'd make a persuasive salesman."

"In the marketplace of ideas, we may not have the best ideas, but we have the best marketing."

'We can't afford advertising like this! That's one page for the drug and two just for the side effects!'

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

The price or the biscuits?

Top model

'The good news is consumer confidence is up. And the REALLY good news is consumer gullibility is Way up.'

'It's the philosophy of the company that truth in advertising begins at home.'

'But what do you sell?'

Cold caller.

'It has undergone a thorough research programme. I've shown it to my wife and her sister.'