Marketing Critique Fan Prints

Xmas special - the same stuff we always sell, but now with added spray snow on the window.

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

Golden parachutes inc. - 'Our pleas for bail-out funds were ignored.'

Roads with a view.

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Pizza Special: 5 Pizzas for $50 (Limit 4).

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

"Do we wait for it to be approved as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as furniture polish?"

"But your room does have a sea view, it's 43 miles over there behind the power station."

'We don't believe in treating people like a number. Here, you'll be treated like a slave.'

'The following program was made possible by a totally unscrupulous sponsor....'

"I'm looking for someone who's qualified to cover my mistakes."

"Wow, we're doing great."

LIBERAL MEDIA POLLS, 'Do you think President Obama is doing a great job, a wonderful job, or an absolutely terrific job?'

'How do you like the new incentive scheme?'

'Okay, the print media convicted you...but trust me, the video media will overturn the verdict.'

"Publicly, we're still saying there are no side effects."

And this is one we made earlier.

'Buy plain packet cigarettes - get free coloured pens to make your own packet design.'

If they didn't show commercials, people would not know what to buy.

Supermarket Special Offer! Two for the price of three!

'Exploiting the workers hasn't helped...so we'll have to start screwing them.'

"How can a drugstore afford to buy a large insurance company for $69 billion?"

'Didn't I read your last book, find it absolutely disgusting and vow never to read another, or was that someone else?'

"We were thinking, J.W., just off the top of our heads, of course—why not make the stuff addictive?"

'Let's one-up our critics. Let's add anti-oxidents to our cigarettes.'