Marketing Critique Aficionado T-Shirts

"Toms of Las Vegas natural adolescent-strength deodorant"

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

Office temperature.

"That's the trouble with cute kittens - they attract a lot of traffic."

Sale. To do this job you just need to follow the old adage and "dance like nobody's watching"!

Berries, Roots, Tubers, Stems, Leaves.

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

'It's about time!'

Girl's weight issues.

Pizza Special: 5 Pizzas for $50 (Limit 4).

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

London Olympics.

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

Cold caller.

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor..."

'It's like I told you, Grog, content is king.'

'Before your 'routine' surgery, your manager would like to stop by and give you a 'routine' exit interview.'

Company spokespersons statement being interpreted into plane English by a second spokesman.

"But your room does have a sea view, it's 43 miles over there behind the power station."

'I want a campaign that will fol some of the people some of the time and all of the people all of the time.'

'Now that's what I call merchandising!'

Maybe I'm just a sucker for marketing, but I think bottled pond scum water really does taste better.

"And to all who wondered how we could possibly top our Cup a' Junk, I give you Bucket a' Junk!"

"It's agreed, then—we look for a new place for lunch."

"We could add a wobbly seat and lid that the idiots, er, customers would think they have to replace - at a premium, of course."

'We rely on our outside consultant so nobody here can take the blame.'

"This looks good."

'Buy plain packet cigarettes - get free coloured pens to make your own packet design.'

Why Mr T's Information Technology Company Failed

'Well we could either make a massive investment in a new multi-media marketing campaign Or we could ask Edna to stop telling current customers to sod off because she's too busy to talk to them!'