Business Critique Enthusiast T-Shirts

What happened next to CEO Fred Musgrave is simply too ghastly to depict here.

"I'm sure you'll soon fit in, me a vulture and you a capitalist."

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

Office temperature.

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

"I'll tell you what I'm looking for! I'm looking for a yes man, Jenson. Do you think you could fit that bill?"

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

"People, the facts are inescapable. Any ideas on how we can ignore them?"

Would anybody else like to ask a question before the stewards get to them?

"I'm not the responsible party. I have people for that."

"We can't take breaks, but lunch is provided."

"So we all agree to reduce our company motto to 'It was the least we could do'?"

"This is Mr. Norris. He'll be coming on board as a human shield."

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

'So this is the company's new mission statement.'

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

"We're looking for people to fire."

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

Rat Race Resources.

'You deserve a bonus, but of course we can't give you one. Instead, we offer a pat on the back and five atta boys.'

"When the going gets tough, the tough get a government handout."

'On the agenda for this meeting is sick leave...'

"Budget Cuts."

NOW HIRING SECRETARY, 'Oh, what the heck -- typing is overrated anyway.'

'I'm sorry, but there's just no room in the budget for upward mobility... We're all making sacrifices...After all, I haven't been promoted in over twenty years.'

"My name is Bob and I'm looking for a 'Yesirree' man."

"Something tells me his demands may be difficult to meet."