Marketing Campaign Start Gifts

Create some buzz!

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Good boy."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'How fast can you hype?'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Apples for sale

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

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"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

Dressed for Success!

CEO with SEO

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'