Marketer's Nightmare Pillows

Bottled water. Frozen water concentrate.

"That's our new church mascot."

Smart card.

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

Floss Street Vendor

He hurt himself taking out the Christmas tree? But it's February! That's not all, he tripped over the jack-o-lantern!

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

"Multi-level marketing!"

'I'm sending him out to drum up new business.'

Child selling cold lemonade in the winter

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

'...hmm ...I predict an upturn in profits this year.'

Doomsday marketing

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

Sun Dried Ice Cubes

Madame Zola - Bitcoin futures

One cow to another: 'We should look at rebranding.'

'CROOOAX! If we ever want to sell this damned parrot, we better not anybody what he has done to his previous owners... CROOOAX! If we ever want...'

"Get another cab, Dad. This one is creepin' me out."

Your weight. See, it's up not down. I told you "thin crust" pizza did not mean it would magically slim you.

For the new gardener.

"On the web it clearly said, 'one mile from the beach'."

"See? You don't need fancy window displays to attract attention...just get some police tape!"

"Alternatively we could make them all sexy."

"I don't know what it means, but since my mom added that word, sales have gone through the roof."

'Have you got any called Samantha?'

Advertising meets cryptozoology...

'He brings a bizarrely different perspective to our marketing.'

Free Hamster, "That's novel, getting a free hamster with every meal."

Johnny Appleseed's less popular brother, Joey Kiwi.

Crystal balls: 'We have three new models to choose from: Scam, Swindle and Extort.'

For a good trial, call Ed Beegley attorney...

'It's true, you're a big star: The Zoo has posted photos of you all over town...'

'Do you want to buy this cow from 'Windy Field Farm'?'

"New super select-a-size! 1/2 sheet, 1/4 sheet, 1/8 sheet (make-up remover), 1/16 sheet (spider killer), 1/32 sheet (booger getter), 1/64 sheets (zit squeezers)."