Market Underdog Supporter Gifts

"This is Thurgood. He specializes in beaten-down stocks."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

The trauma of losing.

"Eat my dust!"

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

The Leafs win the Cup!

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

Runt! You'll never make the team. We'll see! You can't even tie your shoelace! Great technique!

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

David and Goliath.

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

'Haven't they found you a chair, yet Cludmore?'

'Some think we economic forecasters speak a lot of Mumbo Jumbo'

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

'Both were written this year by the same author.'

Sad businessman with sinking profits

"Thank you, Sir."

Ant holds up the word 'TRIUMPH'.

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

'Oh great, we'll never win with this nerd on our team.'

"Not many of you may agree with me..."

"Like many attorneys I was the runt of the litter."

"It says here researchers have found we're not as smart as some people believe."

March 8, 2030: the debut of 'Rocky 19.'

Ballad of a Replacement Player

'Determined little guy.'

"Hopkins has missed the sales targets for the last time!"

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'

Masochistic Soccer Fan