Market Marvels Pillows

Hedge funds make billions from short selling Coronavirus stocks.

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

Dow Jones drop

His temperature appears to rise and fall with the FT index

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

Falling stocks appear to be rising when man stands on his head.

'The market shifted on me.'

Vulture sitting over a plummeting graph.

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."

"Which way up do you want it?"

The Contrarian funds

The two faces of capitalism.

(Stocks) (Bonds) (Off Wall St.)

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

"Looks like the high tech shares have taken another fall."

"I've accepted that I'm getting richer."

Got out of the market too soon; got back in too late.

Lady in Card Shop sees Sympathy Cards section with 'Bear Market', 'Falling Dollar' and 'Inflation' categories.

"The door-to-door sales rep was very persuasive, but in my defense he only sold me one."

'Mr Sims, in honor of your portfolio, we're flying our flag at half-mast.'

The Cattle show Week.

"Today on Wall Street, yesterday's panic selling was replaced by panic buying."

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

'While your word is your bond, at this point it's a junk bond.'