Market Maniac T-Shirts

"Eddie, don't think of the money you lost in oil stocks. Think of the money you're saving on gas."

Sounds of the opening bell: 50c. (Stock broker on holiday.)

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

Dow Jones drop

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

His temperature appears to rise and fall with the FT index

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

'The market shifted on me.'

Falling stocks appear to be rising when man stands on his head.

Vulture sitting over a plummeting graph.

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

'With the firm growing at the speed it has there are bound to be a few problems...'

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."

"Which way up do you want it?"

The Contrarian funds

The two faces of capitalism.

Lady in Card Shop sees Sympathy Cards section with 'Bear Market', 'Falling Dollar' and 'Inflation' categories.

"Looks like the high tech shares have taken another fall."

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

"We're a cable giant, you're a cable giant."

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

The Cattle show Week.

Got out of the market too soon; got back in too late.

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

(Stocks) (Bonds) (Off Wall St.)

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

"I've accepted that I'm getting richer."

"Today on Wall Street, yesterday's panic selling was replaced by panic buying."