Market Leadership T-Shirts

'Our efforts to be rude impersonal, overpriced and inconvenient has made us leaders in jet fuel efficiency.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Robot Parts $5

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

The president's men

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Leadership in the Covid-19 Era

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

CEO du Jour

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'I have been hearing some disturbing comments about you, Parker, some of your employees think you're a nice guy!'

'In my rise to the tip I was always aware of a higher power - now I feel I'm ready to take it on.'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

A balloon seller is selling thought bubble balloons

'I believe in a 'carrot and stick' approach to motivation. The carrot is not to use the stick.'

'As meetings go that was one of my better ones!'

'Great job at today's meeting, Dunwoody. You're finally discovering your own voice as a yes-man!'

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