Market Experimenter Gifts

"Dot com, dot go, now I got - no dough."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

The president's men

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

European currency on the edge.

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

'It's our own consumer confidence test. Throw some nickels out and if they're picked up in 5 minutes confidence is really low!'

At the market

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

Economy - USA.

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

Why markets crash.

Manufacturing will take place in China...So what role does Europe have?...you borrow money to be the customer

Jumping Wall Street.

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

Symbols of Wall St: bull, bear, Humpty Dumpty.

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

Annual Pollsters Convention. Wow, who could've predicted such a low turnout?

Your Leaders Putting Words Into More Words

'In a Washington economic summit, a panel of three economists offered two dozen opinions about the direction of global economics.'

'As you can see the market forecast is quite loopy in the next quarter.'

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'