Market Crash Conversationalist T-Shirts

The symbol for the euro (?) depicted as the wheel of a wheelchair, symbolising the state of the currency

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Winter Weather.

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

"Cold drinks" "Tesla stock"

'Back in the day, you could leverage . . .'

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

Liquidity Lunch

'Stocks gyrated today on news life is full of suprises.'

'...can you tell me how to blame Obama for all that?'

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.

'Your smile came in a distant third.'

'Your investments in sub prime mortgages have become collectors items now! Aren't you excited?'

'It wasn't so much a hostile takeover as it was a best 2 out of 3 pillow fight.'

"This is a penny stock. This is a prime stock and this is a laughing stock."

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, How come there never seems to be any penalty for pundits who turn out to be wrong all the time? - Andy, Los Angeles. Actual reader question. Excellent question. Unfortunately, answering that question would lead to a stock market collapse ... Which would be just the sign of weakness that the Dutch have been looking for. I'll answer you if you really want to wake up to the sound of 500,000 clogs bearing down on you. Ask Sadie questions at asksadie@rudypark.com.

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

Why don't we invite Hypothesis? It's always a good idea to have an educated guest… Party List. Mesomides. Loxias. Anaximenes. Thales.

Morgue for Dot Com Stocks

"Bob's into politics. Date Night is more like Debate Night."

New York Stock Exchange: Feed the bears at your own risk.

'How did it go?' 'We had an exchange of views...I went in with my views and came out with hers!'

"I'm sorry but here we have a strict policy about hiring anyone who's squirmish about investing"

"Well it's been nice doing business with you. Maybe we could meet for lunch some time?"

"Well, that's not a good market indicator."

'Environmental dept? Yes, just a query. It's August, it's 85?. It has been for 3 months now...'

Easy street ends.

'Facebook stock dropped on news that a psychologist said facebook friends are not real friends.'

"Thank you gentlemen for voting me as chairman."

But It's Cold

'Whoa, Buddy, I think you've had enough...'