Market Analyst Admirer Pillows

'Stocks today remained unchanged, on news the rich are getting richer, and the poor poorer, at approximately the same rate...'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

Reading my Critics

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

Why markets crash.

'Remember, an economic boom is usually followed by an economic kaboom,'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"When we changed the company name, the stocks went through the roof!"

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

Jumping Wall Street.

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

"Some guy by the name of Bernanke called in. He wants to try and make an emergency soft landing."

Pulling The Economy Uphill

Travel looks strong!

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."

The two faces of capitalism.

'Gentlemen-the sweets smell of success!'

"Looks like the high tech shares have taken another fall."

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'