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'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

Editor.

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

National Coffee Day

InOutYada Yada.

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

Publisher to writer: 'It was a great read, except I collided with run-on sentences, tripped over broken English and got knocked about by a dangling participle.'

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

"Your book stinks—we want to publish it."

"One day she'll be a wonderful architect."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

"It's like the other ones! I saw a shark! I saw a shark!"

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"FISH ON"

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

"We'll publish your book, doctor, but we'll have to get a second opinion."

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

'Your new book is full of mistakes: the critics will have a field day.'