Marital Sparring Partner T-Shirts

'Can't we have just one conversation without you getting so defensive'

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

'You may now kick the bride.'

"When I take your arm Charlene, there's no need to flex."

Academic Affairs: The Chair of Philosophy Corners the Chair of the Sciences

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

Musical Fight

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

Nature vs. Nietzsche.

Department de Philosophie

Man and Women in a Boxing Ring

'When are you gonna get me some real competition?'

A poison pen fights a poison mic.

"I never take no for an answer. As a result, I've been married 27 times."

'One pundit tonight is from a think tank, the other writes 'Books for Dummies'.'

"I've been thinking harder than you have, and my thought experiment disproves your thought experiment."

'What do you mean, 'you can read me like a book'? You've never read a book!'

'Remind me again darling - what were we just arguing about?'

(I'm tasting berries with deep earth overtones and a definite hint of almond) (That would be the Cyanide.)

'I've gone over the fight tapes and I think I've pinpointed your weakness.'

'I say it doesn't matter what you believe as long as you're sincere.', 'Who do you think you're kidding?'

Chi Kick

'Let's give him a couple more minutes, but it looks like we've got ourselves a bum who can't fight his way out of a paper bag.'

"I'm not listening to any radio program. I'm listening to my wife!"

"You're such a know-it-all, I don't even know what you and I have in common."

"In this corner, a man who describes everything as 'Orwellian.' And in this corner, a guy who loves saying 'Kafka-esque!'"

Historians' Tiff

'I say, Addison

World Ping-Pong Federation.

'I think the other wives should take turns in doing this!'

Boxing.