Marital Disagreements Pillows

"I'll leave, Margaret, but I won't get lost."

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

He leaves, but soon realizes his roots run too deep.

'I want to start by having you take separate staycations.'

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'You've got Mr & Mrs Smith at 2.00, Mr & Mrs Jones at 2.30, and at 3.00 your wife has made an appointment with a Divorce Lawyer!'

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

Diplomacy

"When did you first notice your wife was missing?"

"You keep everything bottled up inside."

'As your solicitor I must ask you to consider divorce an option of last resort. We could mount a drone strike against your husband at a fraction of the cost.'

"We both need to get away and unsidewind awhile."

'You're docile enough alright, but I don't like how you grind your teeth while you sleep!'

'I get the feeling lately that some of the magic has gone out of our relationship.'

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

Pastor to couple: 'It is more blessed to forgive than to receive.'

"I'm used to him finishing my sentences, but now he starts them, too."

Lady Justice Balances A Marriage Quarrel

'Stay, Rusty!'

"I'm afraid, we may have to keep your wife in for a few days."

"They're going through a bitter marriage."

'I'm sorry, but I just can't handle you being out at sea for so long.'

"...and what has my culinary genius conjured up to delight my taste buds tonight?"

'Mr. Rock and Mrs. Hardplace are here, sir.'

"Is it a 'personal attack' if I can prove he’s an idiot?"

"Give it all you got is the motto of my wife's divorce attorney."