Marital Change Pillows

The number of couples separating keeps growing.

'Robert's been very jumpy lately.'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"Darling, you never let me see the side of you that pays."

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'I told my wife she had to choose between me and that precious boat of her's. She called my bluff. Can I sleep on your couch?'

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

'There's an app you can program to delete your trash? I've had one for years called Dave.'

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

'You've got Mr & Mrs Smith at 2.00, Mr & Mrs Jones at 2.30, and at 3.00 your wife has made an appointment with a Divorce Lawyer!'

"It's only fair. He has a man cave."

"George is fluent in two languages. English and total nonsense."

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

"We're only staying together for the sake of our marriage guidance counsellor."

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

'Will I still be married?'

Parson and abandoned husband

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

"Hello darling! - I'm back from the black hole!!"

"I suggest you read this book....it comes highly recommended by earthlings."

"Why don't we compromise... you admit I'm right and I'll agree with you."