Maple Maven Pillows

Maple Syrup Time in Canada

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Drool Marks

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

"Textin’"

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

Jerk Gene

Molecules You Ought to be Aware Of.

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

"There can be no doubt. This proves it. We gotta have more cow bell."

Molecules you ought to be aware of...

'There are shortcuts to making home brew, but taking a swig of malt extract and letting it ferment in your mouth isn't one of them.'

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

Man-mobile

Spam traps on mobiles

At the Halloween party down there, one fat molecule is dressed as an angel and another as a devil. Makes sense, there are good gars and bad fats. The antibody is wearing a cape. Everybody's been calling him a superhero so he dressed like one. That virus wasn't invited but he sneaked in dressed as the long ranger. He's always showing up where he's not wanted. The ironic thing is the virus is wearing a mask.

Bleak House

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'

Math 2B- Shakespeare, yes or no?

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

Mobile Phones

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

"The doctor said I've got 'texter's slump'."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Doubling Gloucester Cheeses