Maple Maven Pillows

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Drool Marks

"Textin’"

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

Molecules You Ought to be Aware Of.

Jerk Gene

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

"There can be no doubt. This proves it. We gotta have more cow bell."

Spam traps on mobiles

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

Man-mobile

'There are shortcuts to making home brew, but taking a swig of malt extract and letting it ferment in your mouth isn't one of them.'

Bleak House

Molecules you ought to be aware of...

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'

Math 2B- Shakespeare, yes or no?

Doubling Gloucester Cheeses

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

"The doctor said I've got 'texter's slump'."

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

Mobile Phones