Map Maelstrom Aficionado Gifts

The most unhelpful map.

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

You Are Here

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

Here be dragons.

Meet the Enemy

'Why can't you admit you're lost?'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"We won!"

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

The Lost World: You are Here

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

'Oh man, we are so lost...!'

You are here.

Having been born with a birthmark that looks exactly like Asia and the Mideast, Russell was able to ace the geography portion of the SATs.

'You mean to tell me you forgot where you buried dinner?'

The Map of the Human Heart

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

"I've always wanted an empire of Distance Learning Campuses."

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

Prostate: 51st State

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

Exit Next Left

'Now will you pull over and ask for directions?'