Map Maelstrom Aficionado Gifts

The most unhelpful map.

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

You Are Here

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Here be dragons.

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

Meet the Enemy

'Why can't you admit you're lost?'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"We won!"

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

The Lost World: You are Here

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

'Oh man, we are so lost...!'

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

'You mean to tell me you forgot where you buried dinner?'

You are here.

The Map of the Human Heart

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

"I've always wanted an empire of Distance Learning Campuses."

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

New York Netherworld