Manuscript Mystic T-Shirts

'I figured if you liked the first paragraph I'd go ahead and finish the book.'

"Do me next."

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Editor.

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

"I feel that I have at least one more unpublished novel in me."

"Can you rewrite this in 3-D?"

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

"Your book stinks—we want to publish it."

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

"I just want to say thanks for getting me into this writing group."

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

"See, that's the problem with you new breed. You take rejection too personally."

"We'll publish your book, doctor, but we'll have to get a second opinion."

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

'Your new book is full of mistakes: the critics will have a field day.'

"I'm in here, rereading the great poets, myself among them."

'It's a slice of life...I cut a long story short.'

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

"Right here is where you lost the narrative flow."

"They have a wonderful author-editor relationship."

'You will write a book, but it won't be on Oprah's recommended list.'

'Too many exclamation points!!!!!!'

"Garbage in, great books out."

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

"Sure, if this was New York, I'd be your editor and you'd be the author - but this is L.A., so I'm your agent and you're the whatever."

'Don't jump. It's a book publisher!'

"It doesn't work as a novel. But we're willing to publish it as a desk calendar."