Manners Observer Gifts

"Jason Smith, civil engineer" "Simon Truscott, uncivil engineer"

'Sorry, I only do traditional handshakes.'

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

'Gesundheit.'

'Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if I smoke?'

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

'Timothy-Rex! Stop playing with the food!'

'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate.'

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

'Honey, we don't stare.'

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

'Say, please.'

"Gesundheit!"

Politeness opens doors

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'

Careful

"Fetch! What about a please?"

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

'They must have really listened to their mothers about chewing their food.'

'Shake'

Have a nice day, if you are already having a nice day please disregard this notice. (reading letter at mailbox)