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'My degree is in the Social Sciences, yet I'm a klutz and don't know one fork from another!'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"

Sitting in a tree

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

Valentine Day

'Knuth! How many times did I tell you not to play with the food??!!'

Love Birds love just being together

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

'Don't get up!'

The latest in Eyewear.

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'Oh I don't mind you turning over my cups to look at the mark. But next time, please finish your tea.'

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

You just keep giving.

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

A small heart within a big heart.

The Surly Yoof

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

"This time, let's not just fill up on bread."

"Gesundheit!"

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

The grave of Punch magazine.

'May I recommend the red wine?'

"I knew Heaven would be by Chanel."

'A neighbour of mine has just come in - put 'em in a size 4 box, will you?'

"So, Claire tells me you ate her parents last night."

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

Man of refinement trying to teach a street salesman to say 'asparagus' rather than 'sparrow-grass'

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

'Seriously, Earl. It's just embarrassing!'

"To save everyone from suffering in polite restraint, I shall eat the last slice."