Manliness Philosopher Pillows

"Many of you were weirded out by Monday's 'Randy's Man Lessons.'"

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be?" "I’d totally wish to have my brain put into a robot body." "That way I could live forever. Imagine living long enough to buy an iPhone 7000." "Wrong answer. An alpha male never lets on that he’s concerned about his mortality. Your answer should have been 'nothing.'" "The alpha male or female is not afraid of death, little buddy." "I think I’d rather wait for the 7000–S." "Stop it."

'We're able to cut back on legal fees by being more ethical.'

'If only I could accept that I can't accept being someone who finds it hard to accept acceptance from those who accept me for the person that I can't accept I really am.'

"Good game.". . ."Good game.". . . "Nice game.". . . "Good game.". . . "I'm in love with you.". . . "Good game."

Mass Confucian

The Little Engine that Faced a Tough Moral Dilemma.

'I would be more health conscious if only I could also be unconscious.'

"Try staying in the same dimension as everyone else."

"Death is bad" - Confucius as a child.

"The hive mind has reached a consensus about 'Wolverine'."

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

"HELP! - I'm trapped in a dumbed-down medium..!!"

'Are they street legal, and do you have some insecurity thing going on?'

Men's Fragrances

Post-Hypnotic Suggestion

Doing to many good turns can make you dizzy.

'I don't actually do evil any more. I lobby congressmen.'

Sadly this is about as exciting as life gets for most cows...and some people.

'No need to be concerned. After 30 years I'm finally emerging from this cocoon.'

A man who sends a fifty-pound note for unpaid income tax

"Studly"?

'James is very persuasive.'

"That's interesting. My parents did spank."

"Do you ever feel as though the portfolio of your manhood should have included combat?"

"Let me guess, when you cleaned your room when you were a kid you put all your clutter under the bed."