Manifesto Analyzer T-Shirts

Labour pledge u-turn

'I think I'll go home and eat'

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

Confirmation Bias

Interpreter for the hard-to-believe-what-they're-hearing.

'One more thing - find out if the new Securities and Exchange Commission head grants group amnesty.'

"That's it?! Boy exploits tree, tree suffers? Shel Silverstein was nuts!"

"Feeling like a skinny person living in a fat person's body is actually quite normal."

It's my manifesto on living "off the grid," mainly compiled from my blog, tweets and Facebook posts.

"There's also a link to my manifesto in the notes section—www.freewilioz.org, articles four and five, respectively."

"I have headaches, stomach, pains, aching muscles, back pains, creaking joints, nausea and dry eyes."

The idea of democracy in some former East Bloc-countries...

If magazines were like art galleries: cartoon with footnotes and manifesto

European Crisis management.

"When elected I will keep all promises I made to you, in a box, in the attic"

"I'm not sure you see my point of view..." "From down here I'd say that's probably true!"

"I'm hitting a wall."

"Just sign here, sir - it clears me of any responsibility."

"Can you let me have some more promises? We seem to have broken these ones. . ."

"I'll go, but only if you promise we won't stay long."

Elections kitchen.

Nancy Ruth is speaking today....

First Projected Loser in November.

Rejected resumes.

'Congratulations. You now have a permanent waiver from Obamacare.'

Statue of liberty surrounded by barbed wire

Government Policy Development

"I'm pretty sure I'm a hypochondriac sucking up scarce resources with my imaginary ailments....but I thought I'd come in and get a second opinion."

"Vote for me!"

I'm torn, Randy. I'm so undecided about this election. You're still undecided about the candidates? No, I'm undecided about whether to be undecided. On the one hand, it could make me seem like I'm unbiased. Like I'm not beholden to any particular ideology. Like I'm above it all. But on the other hand, it could make me look like I'm too dumb to tell the difference between things that are different. Take a couple weeks to ponder that. No rush.

Sign reads: 'To be sure of a healthy nutrition, throw away the contents and eat the package'.

Vote. It's his signature speech, but it always sound like a forgery!