Manager Appreciation Advocate Gifts

"Mr. Rod gave me my employee review. He said I totally 'meet expectations'."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Staff support"

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

"I think it stopped breathing."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"I go that extra mile!"

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

Business cartoon about an incentive to complete the paperwork.

"I like this Carl, you've come up with more solutions than we have problems."

"You need to stop taking your work home with you. Take mine instead."

'I tried that approach once, but my employees seized the carrots and attacked me with sticks.'

Took On Too Much

"When I said, 'I want you to sleep on it'. I menat when you go home tonight."