Management Muse Pillows

'We don't have an opening at the moment, but if you'll wait one minute...'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"The boss is so ENIGMATIC! Every time she discusses my project, she subtly weaves in the phrase 'idiotic, misguided and ill-fated.' What do you think THAT'S a code for?"

Team Leader

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'I'm delegating everything but my paycheck and my snazzy office to you.'

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

Go slow delegating authority. First learn how to delegate blame.

Subordinate Employee

Men in office, pose as Rodin's: The Thinker. A sign on the wall reads: THINK.

'It's signed by the entire office. You're not too popular areound here, are you?'

The little engine that delegated

Leadership Training

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

'In keeping with the team approach, we've traded you for two middle managers to be named later.'

Change of management - warning about revolving door policy

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

'Sometimes, in the stillness and warmth of an afternoon sun, I can almost hear interest compounding.'

'We've decided to upgrade your position with a new version 2.0 employee.'

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

'It's important that I see eye-to-eye with any consultants we bring in.'

'Actually, the entire novel is a metaphor of me getting rich from the movie rights.'

"Delegation is an important attribute of being a leader, but not if you're delegating the leadership!"

'My advice is: Hold on to your stock so you can look back at this and laugh.'

"Employee satisfaction is of utmost importance and I'm not leaving this chair till you are satisfied."

"Okay... how about some people are poverty rich but asset poor?"

Company Structure - Boss and his yes men.

"I'm leaning towards cake as the new global currency...but are you sure these are our best options?"

"Things are getting desperate...we have to do something!"

"This is Bernard, our new management consultant. He is going to be responsible for draining the lifeblood out of staff in a relentless attempt to reach increasingly unachievable and meaningless targets."

'Remember, shares can also go down...'

"I will of course yield to whomever agrees with me."

"Bit if I'm here...how can I also be up close and personal to my managers?"

'This is so much easier than getting volunteers.'