Management Conference Guest Pillows

'Ben, we need a fresh perspective. We'd like you to keynote this year's management conference.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

Boss's Desk Says No!

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"Who's got the hammer?"

Inclusive speech

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

"Gentleman I believe I've found a revolutionary new way for us to more productively waste our lives."

Fish and color