Mall Martinet Mugs

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

Balancing two espresso martinis

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

Pirates at the mall.

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

Mall: "We always hold hands - If I let go, she shops."

"While we do appreciate your diligence... It's not the store's policy to shoot shoplifters!"

Eating the Cocktail Olive

'Your operation is delayed for a couple of hours... there's a big sale at the mall down the street and all the nurses are down there.'

Cat eyes up cocktail olive.

"My religion? I'm a consumerist, first reformed midwest synod. We pray facing the Mall of America."

'Everything must go...manners included!'

"Whenever someone scoffs at dreaming the impossible dream, I tell them to think of Bloomingdale's –the way it was long, long ago, and the way it is now."

James Bond: The Cutback Years

'I'm going to need backup on two. 'The situation' is escalating.'

'And I got this scar when I got in a crush of plump women rushing to buy Leviathongs at the mall sale...'

'We're conducting a shopper-flow study for the new giant Oakdale mall.'

"excuse me...what town am i in..?"

New Mall

Look, honey! I've been shopping off-line!

"Here we will build our mall."

'Philip was cute this morning. He said money's tight and I should only buy what I need.'