Mall Map Reader T-Shirts

Man looking at poster making fun of him for being lost.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

You Are Here

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Here be dragons.

Meet the Enemy

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

'Oh man, we are so lost...!'

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

"Well what does the GPS say?"

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

'Typical man - why can't he just ask for directions?'

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Can I have a look at the map?

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

'Great job Zork, we're lost... you couldn't find Uranus with both hands and a flashlight!'

"According to the map, we should be nearing the North Pole, but something tells me we’ve been reading the map upside down."

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

'Globalsiation risky? How d'you mean?'

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

Since we've remodeled, you are no longer here.