Male Friend Gifts

Warning. Objects in mirror my bear no relation to reality.

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Scientists Discover the Gene for Heterosexuality in Men

"Real men cry these days....."

Man's shaving razor is as tall as him. He says: 'I can't help thinking they should have stopped at three blades.'

'It doesn't make you less of a man if you can't understand the off-side rule.'

Male Iceberg.

"It makes a statement, but it begs a question."

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

Baseball manager shows pitcher complicated charts.

". . . and those are my deepest, most intimate feelings about our friendship."

'He didn't lay a finger on me — just knuckles.'

30 Days Has Movember

'Well, Ted - at least you did catch something.'

Computer He-male (email).

Man using exercise bike being chased by dog

'Nice try, Herb.'

A man with a look alike lion's mane hair style.

'It's a common bachelor mistake to dry on the 'plasma' setting.'

"If I ever use the term 'bromance' to describe our friendship, you have permission to punch me."

Tall man struggling to fit in his bath

'Why can't you just admit that you should've taken the third exit off the Basingstoke roundabout and not the second...'

'You'd look sad too if there had been a strong earthquake during your vasectomy.'

"Footballers do this when they score"

Man trying to understand women by reading book.

Man dreaming of TV weather girl having clothes blown off.

"For crying out loud, cut that thing loose! It's just not worth a trophy."

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

'Him' Watching the Game to Relax

The Leaf Blower and the Toupees

Finally there is the right product for real men!"

Frank P. Newton, Gold Medalist, X-Treme Games VII, Comb-Over competition.

Hipsters knit their beards.

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost, it is generally too late.