Male Friend Gifts

Warning. Objects in mirror my bear no relation to reality.

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Scientists Discover the Gene for Heterosexuality in Men

Men's book clubs.

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

"Real men cry these days....."

Man's shaving razor is as tall as him. He says: 'I can't help thinking they should have stopped at three blades.'

"It makes a statement, but it begs a question."

Male Iceberg.

'It doesn't make you less of a man if you can't understand the off-side rule.'

'He didn't lay a finger on me — just knuckles.'

". . . and those are my deepest, most intimate feelings about our friendship."

30 Days Has Movember

Baseball manager shows pitcher complicated charts.

Frank P. Newton, Gold Medalist, X-Treme Games VII, Comb-Over competition.

Hipsters knit their beards.

'Nice try, Herb.'

"Can you give me a haircut that says, 'If you mess with my budget I'll rip out your soul, wring it like a dish towel, and drink it from a teacup'?"

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost, it is generally too late.

Finally there is the right product for real men!"

The Leaf Blower and the Toupees

Man trying to understand women by reading book.

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

"Footballers do this when they score"

'Why can't you just admit that you should've taken the third exit off the Basingstoke roundabout and not the second...'

"If I ever use the term 'bromance' to describe our friendship, you have permission to punch me."

'It's a common bachelor mistake to dry on the 'plasma' setting.'

A man with a look alike lion's mane hair style.

Man dreaming of TV weather girl having clothes blown off.

'Well, Ted - at least you did catch something.'

Computer He-male (email).

Man using exercise bike being chased by dog

Tall man struggling to fit in his bath

'You'd look sad too if there had been a strong earthquake during your vasectomy.'