Female Friend Gifts

7 Dwarves of Menopause.

'It seems with every year my hot flashes get worse.'

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

"At least we don't have to worry about dudes telling us to smile more."

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Although just before her period, Pamela is not the one who is going to start bleeding...

"It's a treat to see you because you treat me the way I want to be treated."

Suddenly Maude realised she was wearing the wrong panty liner.

'You've a slipped disc in your back and a slipped everything in your front.'

Womens' bras come in football cup sizes.

'Actually, my mom was the first to notice he'd lost that new boyfriend smell!'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'I know I complimented you on that outfit last time you wore it, but that was in 1980.'

'I don't have a shortage of willpower. I have an excess of fairness.'

A group of ladies fearful to leave their cab as the cabman has mistletoe on his hat

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"Oh, stop self-stereotyping, woman!"

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

"Maybe it's about time you brought an arm, chest, shoulder, back and lower leg master?"

See here, Miss Widley -- what's this I hear about you working through your lunch hour instead of sunbathing on the roof?

"Of course I need shoes! You clearly will never understand women!"

"...I just hope my husband doesn't find out!"

"I'll have to go now, Penny. My boyfriend keeps wittering on about something or other!"

Bad hair day!

'The latest look is once again wearing your boyfriends old jumper'

Free Bra Fitting.

I thought he was a good listener, but he's just dumb.

'This sure looks like the inside of my wife's purse.'

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

'By jove, we've found one, Emma! And not a second too soon!'

Like all women sarah was adept at multitasking

P.M.S.

'I only tried out one recipe - then he had to go down with food-poisoning!'

"She looks sooo good."