Female Friend Gifts

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

"At least we don't have to worry about dudes telling us to smile more."

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Suddenly Maude realised she was wearing the wrong panty liner.

Although just before her period, Pamela is not the one who is going to start bleeding...

'You've a slipped disc in your back and a slipped everything in your front.'

"It's a treat to see you because you treat me the way I want to be treated."

'I don't have a shortage of willpower. I have an excess of fairness.'

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

'I know I complimented you on that outfit last time you wore it, but that was in 1980.'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'Actually, my mom was the first to notice he'd lost that new boyfriend smell!'

A group of ladies fearful to leave their cab as the cabman has mistletoe on his hat

P.M.S.

"Maybe it's about time you brought an arm, chest, shoulder, back and lower leg master?"

'The latest look is once again wearing your boyfriends old jumper'

Free Bra Fitting.

I thought he was a good listener, but he's just dumb.

'This sure looks like the inside of my wife's purse.'

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

'I only tried out one recipe - then he had to go down with food-poisoning!'

Bad hair day!

'By jove, we've found one, Emma! And not a second too soon!'

Like all women sarah was adept at multitasking

'Then he told me - To know him was to love him. That's when I dumped him.'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"My husband saw a cockroach in the bathroom so he scrubbed down everything."

"Apparently women use twice as many words per day as men do."

Men scale a mountain going after a woman.

"I'll have to go now, Penny. My boyfriend keeps wittering on about something or other!"

"Of course I need shoes! You clearly will never understand women!"

"...I just hope my husband doesn't find out!"

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

See here, Miss Widley -- what's this I hear about you working through your lunch hour instead of sunbathing on the roof?