Making T-Shirts

"I heard they make glass from sand but I have no idea where to begin."

'Andrew loves taking things apart and putting them back together...except he can never actually put them back together...'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Benedict Cumberbatch

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

37 years in the same position.

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

No-Work Orange

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

Working hours.

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

Horror movies

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Overworked in the office

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Comedy Cafe

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Stand-up Romcom

'These are job perks.'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'