Major Declaration Pillows

'My son is studying communications in college. He never writes, calls, texts, or emails his parents.'

'We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, except for Hancock... who smells bad...'

"When in the course of human events it becomes... Oh, blast it! Adams is just going to edit the heck out of this..."

Cherub tries to prevent a man from declaring his love for a woman.

'John, this is where you should declare your underlying love and tell Miriam she's the wind beneath your wings...'

"And, for God's sake, don't let anyone finish my novel!"

"I declare my love for you."

"Welcome shareholders to the annual report - let us pray."

"There's also a link to my manifesto in the notes section—www.freewilioz.org, articles four and five, respectively."

'I'd like to change my major from electrical engineering to English or something.'

'Hey, that's a new ribbon... have you been fighting again?'

'It appears she's none of her grandmother's subtlety.'

"The following problem is not recommended for some viewers, or so our attorneys have advised us to say..."

'OK, pal, you've called me a little shrimp for the last time - let's see what you're made of!'

'Son, meet Hard Luck Sammy Fleabeard. He had the same major you're about to declare.'

"I'm just waiting to become fashionable again"

"My goal is to major in something that won't become obsolete in four years."

'We've tried everything.'

'Living nine hundred years is okay, except you feel so darn anachronistic!'

Ask me about my thick neck.

Window cleaner has number tattooed on his back.

I've had feedback from litigation...

'I've lost all my inhibitions.'

Elections kitchen.

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – I took the one less traveled by."

'It's no problem. Our union consists of retail clerks, cooks AND bail bondsmen!'

"We're in trouble, JB, people are actually starting to read the small print in our TV ads!"

I don't wear t-shirts with slogans

Cost Benefit Ratio

'Let's reward this 'Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happening Hotties' part.

President Thomas Jefferson

Yes, mom - this is a tattoo! You don't like? Then screw you!

'Aren't you going to add a disclaimer?'

"What do you think?"