Majesty Lover T-Shirts

"He's really let this 'majestic bird' thing go to his head."

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"The knights of the round accent table"

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

New Shoes.

'How about a game of cards?'

How come rich kids do so well on SAT tests? Their parents give them books, fancy trips, lessons and

Designer Kangaroo Pocket

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

'A coach would be nice. But vegetable will get me a BMW?'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Dragon and Dragoff

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

Kensington Fluffies

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

Woman thinking about luxuries.

'Don't be nervous, relax...he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like you do. Of course, his pants are tailor made and cost $600 a pair...'

'At first I wasn't going to join, but with a name like that, how could I resist?'