Mailbag Maven T-Shirts

When you retire from the post office do you get a god watch? No, a letter sweater!

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Apples for sale

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"#Win!"

Drool Marks

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

Direct Marketing...

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Trade Show Sherpas

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

"I don't have to be a team player, Crawford. I'm the team owner."

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

"Just go with the workflow."

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

Man blending in to his chair is reading Optical Illusion Monthly magazine.

GQ Magazine: Stay at Home Special.

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'