Magic Foodie T-Shirts

"Oh, this is terrible! I love it!"

'I sent out for everything.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"You do like octopus?"

Domestic Goddess.

Ice Cream Surgeon

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

What the Doctor Ordered

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

Dinner at the Trapdoors

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Fast food. Even faster food

La Table

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

Night of the Latkes

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."