Magic Fan T-Shirts

"If you don't have any small children, you can substitute mushrooms."

"So...you drive stick."

White Rabbit in a Hat.

"Have you had any sharp, needle-like stabbing pains all over your body lately?"

Magical box of chocolates.

Therapist with a jack-o-lantern head talks to their patient who is a witch.

"My severance package was this magic lantern."

"Get Doc Weston and tell him I have a fever and to come over quick. We have a show to do tonight."

'Have any of you guys seen a crap magician with a magic top hat?'

'This is a prerecorded message. Thank you for rubbing me. Please state your name and your wish. I will get back to you as soon as possible.'

'You're not the only one who envies his ability.'

'Would you believe that somebody asked me to deliver their mail yesterday Where did that come from'

Patrolman writes ticket for witch's broom parked illegally.

'Do you have to do that now?'

'He's falling behind again - I told you he'd bed trouble!'

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Medieval Office Supplies

Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"

Mr. Macho at the game... and after the game is over.

Eleven/Millie Bobby Brown (caricature)

"I can't have the wart removed, I just got the Wicked Witch role in 'Wizard of Oz'."

"Take a letter, any letter"

"I am the Genie of the Bong! I will grant you... um... I am the Genie of the Bong!"

"A fire-breathing dragon represents the conflict you have with the Lord of the Manor."

"I turned Billy Whitley into him. Can I keep him?"

"Yes, I see where you left your phone."

"Where once there was one sandwich-now there are two!"

"If I'm going to spend any time in here you need to do something about your dandruff!"

'Fortune cookies aren't fun for me. I always know my fortune in advance.'

STRIP Hambone: Computer is a know-it-all

'What the. . . don't tell me that you ate the frog that was sitting right there?'

"I suspect that you faked this burglary...Mr Houdini!"

Everyone seemed to be staring at Steven...but it turned out his eyes were just playing tricks on him.

"Ok you there, text me a number, any number..."

An elephant burping