Mafia Comedy Lover Pillows

Fish mobsters.

"Housekeeping?!"

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

He loves the water.

I always forget - Are we supposed to tip?

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

The Birthday Mafia Sends a message.

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

"I like his style. He makes it look like an accident."

Gangsta wrap.

'Every time you lose an argument, you put a horse's head on my side of the bed!'

"Sorry, Boss, I thought you wanted me to make it look like an accident."

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

Why did the chicken cross the mafia

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."

'I'm afraid we only publish A list celebrity cookbooks.'

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

'Before you buy the gun can I ask if you thought about taking your cat to the vets first?'

"Keep your best friend close but the squirrels closer."

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

'When did mum stop just sending us to our room?'

"Your resume indicates a fair bit of experience in the field of problem solving."

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

'Sorry Rocko, you know how it works. Step on a crack, break your mother's back.'

'We rape, pillage and kill. THAT'S our corporate mission statement.'

Egg gangsters, "All I'm saying is that most people think it wise to take out a little insurance".