Maestro Fan Gifts

Erich Leinsdorf.

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'It seems to work, I couldn't afford a blackberry!'

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

"If I knew when this was going to end, it wouldn't be so stressful."

Your Guide to Winning Movember

New Fads For The Handlebar Mustache

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

Lawrence of Suburbia

Leonard Bernstein

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

Skeleton model kit assembly instructions.

Anton Bruckner.

When Cows Discovered Mowers

Roberto Mancini

Setbacks in the development of the rubber mallet.

Fifty ways to style your nasal hair.

Ted tests the limits of his new mulching mower.

"I've never seen Baldo so excited about mowing the lawn."

For a $50 payoff, Dwayne would agree not to follow a foursome around all 18 holes.

"Something has happened to the canary."

'Has anyone ever told you your tweets are Hemingwayesque?'

Vincenzo Bellini

Baby driver

"Do you think it's time to switch from the blower to the mower?"

Esa-Pekka Salonen

'Gerald loves an afternoon relaxing in the garden.'

Not many people pulled off the Movember look this well!

"I said me and the boys are getting the band back together, are you in?"

It's a model.

"The Earthling seems to be waiting for us to do something with the gift he has given us."

"I can't believe you! You say you can take a perfectly nice car, add tinted windows, fancy wheels, a spoilers...and turn it totally guy? Not that, you know, there's anything wrong with that."

'What's it look like I'm doing? I'm applying hair tonic to my bald tire.'

Man needs bait. Pulls fish-shaped mustache off face and applies it to hook.

'I don't normally like men with a mustache.'