Macro Maven Gifts

The Icelandic Economic Crisis.

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

Drool Marks

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

"I don't have to be a team player, Crawford. I'm the team owner."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

"Just go with the workflow."

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

Aftermath: Hostile Takeover,

Man carrying his boss.

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

"And here you see where we successfully concluded the merger to everyone's mutual benefit."

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

"What kind of crazy management scheme is this?"

Jerk Gene

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'How dare you accuse me of sinking this company?'

'Hmm...this new management fad is crazy enough that it might just work...'

'Attention, all department heads: the buck stops there. I've had it!'

"I can't fire him. He has corporate sponsors!"

"Successful leadership involves more than just shouting at people."

Reconnaissance reports your email blast to Sales was a direct hit, with acceptable collateral damage in Finance and Accounting.

Bleak House

'This spider's web proves that you've done no work today!'

Life is ghoul