Macho Man In Training T-Shirts

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

'Now then, Simpkins. What makes you think you could become a circus clown?'

Important Muscles.

Soldiers' Ego

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

Alpha males through the ages!

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

"Good game.". . ."Good game.". . . "Nice game.". . . "Good game.". . . "I'm in love with you.". . . "Good game."

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

"This is all my own hair."

"Wanna come over and watch the big game?....I was actually talking about the new 'Pac-Man vs. Superman' X-box game."

"One last question, Berlinger. Is it just you, or is the whole damn Accounting Department shot full of steroids?"

"I'm just saying Darling: You look a lot less formidable when you carry your kitten around..."

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

'Daddy! Your hammer doesn't work good!'

Easy shaving

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

'That's a good start, Betsy, but could you make it more macho?'

Arm and leg wrestling.

'I want my money back -- I'm still a wuss.'

"I recommend the lobster today, sir, if you think you're man enough."

"Okay boys, time to maintain a delicate ecological balance between man and beast."

Bill just couldn't wait for his testosterone to kick in.

'Will you sorry excuse for Vikings shut up and go to sleep?!'

Rhinovirus (Common Cold) vs Rhinovirus-M (Man Cold)

"Leave it, Cedric! - It's always the same; you have a few drinks and all you want to do is take the world on. . .!"

'Yes you did, Mike. You just said 'perchance.' And yesterday you called me 'my good fellow.' Twice.'

The neames of hardware items are often hard to remember...'I'm looking for a box of metallic pins about 1 inch long and with a pointed tip with a sort of circular surface?' 'Nails! Aisle 2B'